Hey folks, meanwhile in GEEK CENTRAL, hehehehe etc.
Posted by Richie on January 25, 2009
Star Trek Barbies? That’s how to make future babes geeks!!!
Hey folks, Harry here… with a brilliant concept. TREK BARBIES!!! Yes, every little girl in the world needs Star Trek Barbies, so that in like 15 years all future geeks will have excellent geek brides. Either that… or geek boys will be seen playing with these and get pummeled mercilessly until they are very nearly dead. That said… Look at Kirk’s hair!!! Do you think that there is ANY CHANCE that it will stay like that? That’ll fray and get crazy Einstein looking hair quick… won’t it? Uhura is looking good, I might have to pick that one up… for Yoko. Yeah. For Yoko!
It’s three in the morning right now, so let’s stick to dot points.
- Women – not having minds of their own – can’t be legitimate geeks. Rather, they must be brainwashed into doing so by using Trojan Fashion Dolls.
- The only reason for the existence of women geeks is to be the future brides of geek men. Like The Stepford Wives with even more robots.
- Playing with plastic figures of SF characters is only feminising, and thus degrading, if they have the Barbie logo on them.
- If you want to get women involved in geekdom, a better strategy would be not to perpetuate the above three ideas on a popular website.
- Can you look at the last sentence without entertaining the thought of what Harry Knowles-on-Uhura slashfic must be like…?
QoT said
The only reason for the existence of women geeks is to be the future brides of geek men.
I do not want to think about how often I’ve seen this mentality in action. *headdesk*
Richie said
Feel free!
TallyCola said
There are already tonnes of geek women around, but sadly too many geek boys expect them to… not look like geeks? It’s pretty grim out there for his geek girls, to say the least.
Anyways, there have been Star Trek Barbies for years.
http://www.billbam.com/startrekbara.html
Daisy P said
Well, finally someone has come up with a solution for the massive and world-wide problem of how to provide Geeks with fuck-material that is porn-standard and to their taste. After all, Goth girls have been pornified and sexualised, where it used to be equal.
Plastic dolls which train little girls to think of their own bodies as plastic too, to be moulded and shaped, why, you could almost convince them that they wouldn’t even know that real bodies have nerves, blood and can feel pain when they start considering their first boob job at age 12 or so.
All along, “Beauty and the Geek” has been barking up the wrong tree! *thumps head in frustration* Of course! (You can hear the BATG producers shouting)……we could never hope in a gazillion years to swap the genders ie, Geek Girls for Sexy Men….that would never work would it?
Anyway, most Geeks know that they don’t really have to try very hard to get women, as many women are so desperate to have a man who they think won’t cheat, a man who will commit, that they’ll take anything. I’m not sure they need worry too much.
But just in case…we’ll just sexualise, standardise in that empowering-for-women-Barbie-kind-of -way, the Geek Girls!!
Well, this is going to be really fun now….Hurray for Geeks!
MaggieCat said
* Playing with plastic figures of SF characters is only feminising, and thus degrading, if they have the Barbie logo on them.
This is the one I was wondering about. I was trying to figure out why they’d be worried about boys getting beaten up for playing with these as opposed to other
dollsofficially licensed likenesses of SF characters, or why they wouldn’t just have been recommending that people give girls the regulardollscollectible action figure thingys if they wanted to push that silly plan — or you know, because the girl in question is interested — and I was coming up with zilch.Clearly it is because I am a girl who owns Barbies (they can have my Ascot Liza Barbieelittle when they pry her from my cold dead hands) and am thus so inured to the swirly silver B I failed to comprehend how Barbies are actually dangerous to the other half of the population. Thanks for the explanation.
There is a part of me that wants these to do really well, because it might finally prove that all sorts of women like SF — since the other option would be that men are buying them, and clearly that’s not acceptable — by filtering it through a feminine coded lens they might actually pay some attention to.
(…and also a little because I just realized that there needs to be a Lwaxana Troi Barbie like, yesterday.)
Richie said
I’d *personally* be much less embarrassed to be seen with a Barbie than with Todd McFarlane’s Clive Barker’s Twisted Dark Horror of Darkdeathbloodtits. Actually, when I was around 10-11 I used to act out domestic scenes between Han and Leia using the Millennium Falcon set I got for Christmas, so obviously the matriarchal brainwashing started early.
bellatrys said
I used to act out domestic scenes between Han and Leia using the Millennium Falcon set I got for Christmas,
…meanwhile I and my friends were pretending the dollhouse I was given was actually the Death Star, and pretending the dolls were more Stormtroopers for my SW figures to run away from….
Richie said
I’ve a sudden urge to make dresses for Spawn figures.
bellatrys said
I’ve a sudden urge to make dresses for Spawn figures.
That…is either a really terrible, horrible, awful idea, or the base concept for a really radical bleeding-edge avant garde “playfully skewers the boundaries between prefabricated/homemade/masculine/feminine/real/synthetic/violent/peaceful etc etc” art show. Like, dress up the Spawn figures in fabric dresses, and then take pictures of them and blow the pictures up huge, and then display them in a mixed-media Installation…
Richie said
I should probably leave well alone, then
tomeoffinland said
That…is either a really terrible, horrible, awful idea, or the base concept for a really radical bleeding-edge avant garde…
They did that in PC Accelerator Magazine about a decade ago in which they used a shovelware fashion design game to make little paper dresses for Starcraft figurines.
franzferdinand2 said
I have to admit that I read the Harry Knowles quote about 3 times before I realized that it wasn’t you doing a Harry Knowles impression. I think this is because a). you doing Knowles is better than Knowles himself and b). I kind of wanted to believe that the words being written were from someone who was joking from a self-aware position.
No such luck.
Richie said
And yet he wields more power than everybody I know put together.
franzferdinand2 said
When you say that, a small piece of my soul dies.
bellatrys said
I look at AICN as kind of a low-water benchmark for Hollywood media and the mass-market audience, jointly: 1) if something registers as offensive to the Ordinary Dudes on AICN as bad, then the problems we talk about are blatant enough to cut through any denial; and 2) the fact that stuff finally *is* starting to register as bad, rather than just “not PC”, means that we *are* making a difference, “drop by drop”, in shifting perceptions.
…Yeah, pretty thin gruel, I know!
Richie said
I remember their attempted Aint It Cool Books sub-site. Can you spot the fatal mistake, kids?
bellatrys said
::cough::splutter::
Wow, you’re even Not Nicer than I am, Richie! (And I had actually forgotten all about that, until you reminded me…)
::wipes monitor::
Daisy P said
http://www.asylum.co.uk/2009/02/10/would-you-swap-your-girlfriend-for-a-robot/
don’t look now, but geeks have made the dolls real-life, and interactive!
Misogyny hits another “final” frontier?