Toondoo Doodoo Part Two

After the success of my haunting tribute to RenardGris’ “Feministe Futur” webcomic, I’ve decided to make some more.

This was inspired by a banner ad I keep seeing for a webcomic called I Dream of a Jeanie Bottle, which bills itself as “A new webcomic with a TG twist!”. Anybody even remotely familliar with the current state of webcomics will, of course, immediately see the problem with this: Ever since The Wotch proved it was possible to rake in thousands of dollars a month by occasionally sketching sub-Garfield quality men turning into overendowed women, it would be more of a surprise if the male lead didn’t turn into a girl within the first dozen pages. In I Dream of a Jeanie Bottle‘s case, they do it on page one. Christ, even Exiern showed more restraint than that.

Ah, yeah, The Ladder Theory. It’s reasonably well known, but for anybody unaware, it basically goes like this: Everybody is a manipulative asshole, all relationships are built on a foundation of lies, and all human interaction is either pointless or an attempt to get laid. According to the website, it was formulated after “Many years of sociological field testing”. I’ll tentatively suggest that the experiment in question may not have been scientifically valid, and raise you my own pet project, “The Douchebag Theory”. The Douchebag Theory states that the creator of The Ladder Theory is a massive douchebag, ergo the only people who’ll talk to and/or have sex with him are also massive douchebags, because any self-respecting, sensible human being wouldn’t go within spitting distance of the fuckwit.

This would, of course, never happen in Siberia.

Still more satirical than the Chaser.

One of the 117 unwatchable parts of 300 – or “minutes”, as they’re otherwise known – is the bit where the suspiciously-dark Persian ambassador reminds us how backward he is by being appalled that suspiciously-light Spartan women are allowed to answer back. Yes, women did have more freedom in Sparta than many other city-states, a fact which pissed off… um, Aristotle. Persia, on the other hand, while not exactly a poster-child for egalitarianism, had women doing all sorts of neat stuff. Like being naval commanders. Or, say, members of Xerxes’ 10,000 Immortals. Who were in the film.

“HAV” stands for “Historically Accurate Version”. I was going to do one for each glaring abuse of the facts, but then realised how long it’d take.

Few sites elevate shooting yourself in the foot to an artform in quite the way antimisandry.com does. My current favourite is probably this great list of “Men Compared to Women Averages” (in a forum dedicated to “Great Men and their Historical Accomplishments”, because we just don’t hear enough about those). Got that? Good, now find a thread where they’re whining about, say, the education system failing boys because they’re getting lower grades than girls, and see what strikes you. Find the slightest hint of self-awareness and win a prize!

I contemplated doing a parody of Life With Kreg, but after twenty minutes of trying I realised it was actually impossible, so here’s the original instead.

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